I would suggest to you that gays in the military does not mean that you are going to have any personal issues that you must address. The spirituality of being with someone whose lifestyle in my view is not entirely congruent with the laws of the Jewish population as ascribed by Torah Law is however a consideration. I suggest that if you have a sincere appreciation for G-d and love for the human experience, you might want to support the familes of the gay and lesbian and other transgender and the like Americans by donating to PFLAG at www.pflag.com .
It is tax deductable and it will help other people who have difficult times with integration into their day of their childs sexual considerations.
Another idea if you really want to take this further is give to a red cross charity, give to an united way, give to a fund of your own religious design such as a community fund for your church, jewish federation or islamic community.
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